While you probably won’t see video evidence of Kanye West invading the black hole of advantageous exploitation that is Kim Kardashian and her uterus – at least, not until she’s too old to be relevantly attractive – you will be able to catch her spontaneously going into labor and pushing out her newest cash cow. Did I say spontaneous? I meant entirely staged and most-likely induced labor.
According to E! president Suzanne Kolb, “we love it when this close-knit family gets even bigger. We look forward to sharing the joy as they prepare for more diapers, more bottle and without a doubt, more fabulous baby wear.” [source]
In other words, We here at E! look forward to milking this for all its worth and continuing the Kardashian line. One that stemmed from a fortuitously “leaked” sex tape — a tape that has erupted in sales since the announcement of her impregnation [source]; one that has been perpetuated by a boring Playboy shoot / fabricated controversy; one that snagged a self-esteem rattled NBA star; one that staged an “out-of-the-blue” relationship, engagement, subsequent wedding, and convenient separation to another NBA star who’s more popular as a heel than a forward; one that moors a privileged, dysfunctional family together with a gilded carrot; one that doubly confirms that E!’s viewers teeter precariously on the line between Schadenfreude and misguided envy.
Kardashian’s pregnancy, much less E!’s use of it, shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Last year’s finale that involved Kourtney birthing a second child garnered nearly three million viewers, a draw that edges out Kim’s marriage proposal the year before. It seems that E! and the Kardashian clan have learned that the only way to keep people interested is to arrange marriages and get knocked up — something that appropriately starts with a K, much like Kim’s last two celebrity boyfriends, a pure coincidence I’m sure.
