Are you ready for another remake? I suppose the real question is whether or not we have a choice. Regardless, Total Recall gets a PG-13 face lift this weekend, so don’t count on catching a flash of the three-breasted alien from Paul Verhoeven’s solid first take on this story. You might also want to prepare for two hours of explosions and a lot less satire. If you fancy something a bit more earth based, you could check out 360, or one of the two Christian Slater movies premiering this weekend. Enjoy!
Total Recall: I understand that advancements in CGI technology will probably make some of the scenes within this remake a bit more visually stunning than its predecessor. And, I get that an easy way to market a film is to offer a remake that conjures nostalgia for thirty-to-forty year olds who probably have children around the age of thirteen. This way, the parents can say, I remember when the original came out, and they can reminisce about the three-breasted-alien, heads exploding, and the emergence of Kuato, which might be the second most memorable gastro-intestinal-based alien scene in cinema next to John Hurt’s stomachache in Alien. What I foresee as a disappointment in this new film is the likelihood that any of the satirical social commentary within Paul Verhoeven’s film will be lost in the shuffle of special effects and emoting.
360: It has a great cast, but a pedestrian premise that weaves a number of disparate lives together through intersecting relationships. I’m convinced that this type of narrative is –more often than not – a grab for as many demographics as possible: those looking for romance, those for deception, those for breaking the rules, and those for looking back on a life’s regrets.
Assassin’s Bullet: Christian Slater’s reemergence pits him as an FBI agent with a past who is tasked by Ambassador Ashdown (Donald Sutherland) to uncover a rogue assassin. Assuming is dangerous business, so I’ll just declare that this movie will probably be a bomb. In part, it’s because Christian Slater doesn’t get tagged to do much anymore since it’s no longer 1997. But, Donald Sutherland is often thrown into roles in which he can be smarmy and underhanded. The most recent example would be The Hunger Games. Thus, it’s a fair bet that Slater’s character is only offered this job to keep tabs off of the Ambassador. Assassin’s Bullet strikes me as being as obvious as The Double, but just a little sadder.
Soldiers of Fortune: Slater is on a roll, folks! This time, he’s a special operations expert employed to guide a bunch of bored-with-earning-millions-of-dollars folks through hostile territory so that they can take part in military action for a price. I can see how this film started out as a commentary on how extreme wealth breeds sadistic indifference and an illusory reality. And for that, I can give this film credit. However, the idea that no one thought anything would go wrong in this situation is a bit preposterous. It’s kind of like Jurassic Park, but instead of dinosaurs, the wildcards are idiots with automatic weapons.
