This week, Disney launches another tentpole film, Elizabeth Olsen gives audiences eighty-eight minutes of tension, a couple of white folks put salmon in an unusual place, a couple of professors exchange identities, and Eddie Murphy tries his hand with teenagers in his most recent, not-funny role.
John Carter: Andrew Stanton, director of Wall-E and Finding Nemo, makes his live-action directorial debut with John Carter, Disney’s adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ space adventurer and his exploits on Mars. A former Civil War officer, Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is transported to mars, finding himself on the strange, unfamiliar planet that “is dying.” Soon after, he’s told “You’re the only one that can save us,” by an attractive, gilded-bikini wearing woman. The original novels had charm and allegory; the movie looks to be confusing tropes (horse chases, gigantic battle sequences, sword fights, strange humanoid-looking aliens that resemble third cousins of Jar Jar Binks) in hopes of drawing a large enough audience to rebirth another Pirates of the Caribbean-like franchise. The problem here is that Kitsch – judging by his similar depictions of Gambit and Tim Riggins – is no Johnny Depp, and while Stanton might be a two-time Academy Award-winning director, imagining the fantastical in live-action is a bit different than in Pixar studios.
Silent House: It’s not found footage, but it’s handheld. The additional gimmick is that it’s shot in exact time a la 24. Each of the suffocating eighty eight minutes is accounted for as we wait for the inevitable demise of Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen), who is trapped in her family’s lakeside retreat. Perhaps there will be a play on Michael Haneke’s cynical look at our dependence on technology in his 2007 U.S.-geared version of Funny Games. And, perhaps Olsen will carry this film like she carried Martha Marcy May Marlene. If so, I’ll go for the tension, assume the ending and be pleasantly surprised if it goes in a different direction.
Footnote: Nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the most recent Academy Awards, Footnote tells the story of Eliezer and Uriel Shkolnik, a father and son who are both university professors in Talmudic Studies. The conflict within is a case of mistaken identity when it comes to one academic work being lauded over another. There’s sure to be commentary on legacy, family and academia, so, being a geek and one of those lowly adjuncts, I’m in.
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen: I can’t watch Emily Blunt without envisioning her on a white horse in The Wolfman, so I’ll use that as an excuse to avoid this movie that also stars Ewan McGregor. I’m sure there are touching moments and maybe even some commentary on life and values, but I’m not sure I can bring myself to watch a movie trying to fashion salmon into a metaphor for life. They swim upstream, so I guess we should to. Fair enough, but the salmon are doing what they’re programmed to do, much like we are, so how different are we really? If we wanted to model ourselves after an animal, we should pick the one salmon who says, “that current is strong; I’m heading back this way, conserve some energy, and maybe live a touch longer,” or maybe the lemming who stops at the edge, looks down and says, “Hmmm…climbing that tree seems so much better than this; I’ll see you guys, er, well, I’ll see your kids back at the nest.”
A Thousand Words: Eddie Murphy plays Jack McCall, a literary agent who will say anything to get what he wants. After stretching the truth with a spiritual guru, he finds a Bodhi tree on his property and learns that he only has as many words left as leaves on the tree. The film itself looks a bit better and more Eddie Murphyish that his delve into children’s cinema, but similarly as silly. The premise itself would have been much more interesting, and possibly even poignant, if we weren’t living in the age of texting, tweeting, and emailing. It’s fair to say that most of his interactions could be done through the digital medium, meaning that he would hardly have to speak at all. Regardless, let’s hope his last few words are a nostalgic rendition of “Wookin Pa Nub.”
