Orphan
I’m a bit disappointed about how much I enjoyed this film — I hated the reboot of House of Wax and categorize most recent horror/suspense/thriller-type movies as bits of films that have been recycled and placed over snippets of Dvorak opera. However, the acting in Orphan is quite solid as Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgarrd hold their own. Also, kudos to the ten-year old Isabelle Fuhrman for showing some true acting chops. She’s not merely the focus of quick-cut-showing scowls; she’s emotive, makes use of subtle facial nuances and dons a consistent accent. (You could learn something from this, DiCaprio). Plus, this all makes her far creepier than either waifish Olsen Twin. (Note: This image has not been Photoshopped)
In the end, I think I like the movie for what it is — it doesn’t take itself too seriously, but, I’m not positive; it’s about a half-hour too long and provides a clichéd evil character without an adequate rise of dementia, which again ties in to the length of the movie. An overt, evil character is fine for a ninety minute vehicle, but when a movie crosses 120 minutes, there needs to be some sort of development; instead, Orphan often resembles 1993’s The Good Son (a flick where post-Home Alone/Pre-obscurity Macaulay Culkin tries numerous times to kill the prepubescent Frodo), falling short of emulating The Omen — the original, not the diluted remake.
One thing I will credit the film with is a decent twist. Full disclosure: I knew the twist before I saw the film On Demand, which is one reason I didn’t want to see it in the theaters. However, I was expecting some sort of crescendo where Esther is captured by police officers or dog catchers, or something right before a long-winded exposition during the last thirty seconds of the film from a doctor to the happy couple who hold each other tightly while comforting the other’s suspicion that they are terrible parents for letting a demon into their home.
Something like this:
DOCTOR
Russian. Midget. Hooker.
HAPPY COUPLE (simultaneously)
Noooo! How could we?
They embrace
Quick cut to Esther chained up like veal, writhing but pathetically, and then back to the couple
WOMAN (weeping)
I blame myself.
MAN
Don’t blame yourself. I should have seen it.
She wanted to blow me.
DOCTOR
Yeah. They’ll do that.
WOMAN
But she looks so young.
MAN
Midgets don’t age.
DOCTOR
It’s science. You couldn’t have known.
Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to see how the twist unfolded and (most of) the carnage that came after.
DYL MAG Score: 7
The Uninvited
Have we reached the point that twists have gone far beyond predictability and have circled around to nonsensical and unnecessary? If you have seen The Uninvited the answer is “yes.” Even amidst the pedestrian scare tactics of the film, choreographed red herrings, and glacial pace of the storytelling, the last twist-revealing five minutes are the most simultaneously exciting and, well, silly.
A twist plays on the viewer’s conception of the story that has been presented and then alters it. Often, there is a need to rewind the flick and investigate lines that were delivered to see if there is a double entendre or ambiguous suggestion (a la Fight Club, Scream, or even the recent A Perfect Getaway).
In The Uninvited, the twist is a virtual refashioning of the story; it seems that each and every bit of dialogue never happened, and the facts of the story from the first 80 minutes are fabricated — particularly the preternatural premonitions that Anna has. Each ghoul or goblin she sees points, literally, to Rachel (Elizabeth Banks) as the killer.
Fine. Anna is delusional and has anger issues. I get it, but nothing throughout the film hints that this twist is plausible. (Except everyone says she’s crazy, which makes the twists a bit lamer.) This tactic actually elides the joy of a twist: learning it and then going “oh yeah! How did I miss that?” The Uninvited offers none of this. There are no clever camera tricks that create ambiguity; there are no intimated lines that could be inferred differently. The Uninvited merely rearranges the story it has told and leaves you wondering if Shutter would have been a better choice to waste 90 minutes. (It wouldn’t have been; together, they would have made you believe you sat through The English Patient.)
DYL MAG Score: 4.5 (actually more tepid than hot)
A Perfect Getaway
One 2009 film that pulls of the failed coup from The Uninvited is A Perfect Getaway. This movie isn’t great; the acting is mediocre and the dialogue vacillates from campy to expository to clever, but it’s a fun ride — particularly because the characters in the film intentionally give off the vibe that they know they are part of a horror movie. At times, Cliff (Steve Zahn) and Nick (Timothy Olyphant) talk about the typical structure for films, where a twist comes in the second act just before the climax or the need to establish red herrings to keep the audience on their toes. Sticking to protocol, both of these tropes occur in the movie, though amidst the intentionally silly red herrings (goatee + tattoos = murderer), the film cleverly masks ambiguous dialogue that is later discovered to be the opposite of what a viewer would infer — thus, the “oh, yeah!” moment.
Similarly, the pair of serial killers is hiding among four couples. While suspicions run high about and within each pair, there is plenty of intimate dialogue while the viewer sees opposite pairs sitting silently in the background. This actually becomes a key to the tale’s re-imagining during the last forty minutes of the film.
In the end, the film is still a bit of a roller coaster, but at least it stays on the tracks.
DYL MAG Score: 6
